I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
