Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
