plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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