I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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