is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
