hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
