the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
