Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
