Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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