Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize