Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
