hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
