I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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