I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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