I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
