he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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