Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
