@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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