you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize