theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
True strength comes from lack of pants
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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