Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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