i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
