New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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