rhymes with "ouble enetration"
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
