I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
