there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
