I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
