i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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