i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
