have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
