I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
