He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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