So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
