So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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