I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
