hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
