Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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