even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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