While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
