Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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