$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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