we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
