If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
