Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
