I think my vagina is haunted
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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