And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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