Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
