Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
