He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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