Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
