Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
