I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
