I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Randomize
