considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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