hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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