South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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