Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
