i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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