Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
