Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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