what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
