Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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