judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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