Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
