The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
