Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
40s are totally the cure
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize