Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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