You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
There r osticjed everywhere
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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