You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
dude. I can hear the air.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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