So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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