I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
True strength comes from lack of pants
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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