im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
