I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It was a blind-side dick pic.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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