I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
